Clown Shoes. (Déjà Blues)

All throughout my life, I've had to bite my tongue,
hindsight's a bitch, I wish I'd just of been blunt.
When the choices we make, are the same as the mistakes we create,
then I'll discover the mantra, that will deliver me towards grace.
If you always do, what you always did,
then you'll always get, what you always got.
That's why yesterday, never goes away,
whilst tomorrow will always be, in our way.

Out of sight, out of mind,
nothing changes, as no-one's got the time.
We've all bitten off, far more than we can chew,
that's why we've all came down with, a bad case of the déjà blues.
Misguided youth, born from polluted truth,
forever waiting on promises, that we know will never be fulfilled.
There's always someone else somewhere else, who's got it so much worse,
so we'll all eventually, see our "problems" through.

If real eyes, realise, real lies,
then the longer we live, means the more we'll despise.
We are not a collective conscious. as everything i've grown to know,
turned out to be a lie. (I've lived a lie.)
When I was down, you told me: "Just let it all out".
but when i finally did, you were nowhere to be found.
It's always been, my biggest downfall,
I don't want the world, I just wanna be heard.

What you give is what you'll forget.
What you take is what you'll regret.

I've only ever wanted, to be sincere,
but what goes through my head, isn't what you'll get to hear.
I've finally learnt, that i need to stop to breathe,
before I can muster up the courage, to allow myself to speak.

Step outside of yourself, do you like what you see?
Are you the person, that you'd always envisioned yourself to be?
Hold back those tears, 'cos they're worth so much more,
than the ones, that you've naively chosen to shed them for.

Nothing ever really works out,
but when you've got nothing to lose,
you've got everything to live for.

This is my cathartic release,
a sacred oath, to every person that I've ever known.
The best thing I never said, will be the closest kept secret,
hidden from your ears, for years on end.
Anxiety forever taking the best away from me,
jealousy always blinding me,
serotonin barely staggering around through me.
This is the end of chapter one which was called "I set you free".